Memory



A new way of remembering things. I can feel the difference. Normally, memories come to me mentally. First, I sort of visualize then inside of my head. And once visualized by me, after I get conscious of it, I can decide whether or not to revive then. To revive then with my body, in a sensorial way. For example, if I – first step - remember a specific kiss I gave in a girlfriend I had, then I could – secondly – decide to try, as best as I can, to feel the taste of that kiss again. But all this process – as you can realize – is mental, is commanded by my consciousness. This is the way things used to work.
But, as I said, I noticed a little change on things. These last days, I realized, in a sudden way, that I started to remember things first with my body! It was a very pleasurable felling. My consciousness, this time, remained where it was – paying attention to a teacher, for example – and just after realized that my body – all alone! - was feeling an old sensation of being in a beach or walking by a river in Buenos Aires.
Do I make myself clear? I hope I do!
And it was funny because I felt that my mind was somehow “offended” by this fact, as if it lost control of something that always belonged to it! For example: my body (in a sensorial way) was, in a moment, “telling” me, sending me vibrations that corresponded to that beach, or that walk by the river. I started to fell the breeze of those days, and the internal peace that I felt. And then, interrogatively, I looked around with doubt, asking myself where I was, whether in a classroom or in the banks of Río de la Plata. But, at this very moment, the simple fact that I asked myself something meant that my humiliated consciousness resumed the whole process of remembering…and the feeling of that breeze was substituted by a simple picture of it…
This new process of remembering is very fleeting. How to be careful in a non-mental way and leave the body remember things in it's (new) own way?


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